2.7 mm Closer to God

A few years ago I developed a kidney stone.  While many have had kidney stones mine were much worse because they were mine.  Seriously. If you have ever had them you know how painful they can be.  I have had them larger ones before and they were painful for about 12 hours.  Then the pain was gone and I quickly forgot about everything but the medical bills.

This time was different.  It was only 2.7mm but it was stuck and was not coming out on its own. I started feeling the tell tale signs of an epic battle coming on and thought I knew what I was in for.  I was wrong.  

Truth be told, I can find a lot to whine about like waiting in line for almost any type of self-gratification, especially in the form of something tasty.   But when it comes to pain I am really a wimp, which is not good for me because I am married to a nurse.  A nurse who told me at the beginning of our relationship that she was far less concerned with my level of pain than she was my overall health.  I guess its part of the job requirement.

I say I am a wimp but really what I mean is that I have a pretty high pain tolerance but a very low tolerance with regard complaining about my pain.  As my epic 12 day battle with near constant pain lingered on I found myself not quite as concerned with my level of pain and much more concerned with the need for our Father to give me what I needed to sustain life until the healing came.   As the hours turned to days and days turned to weeks I became more and more dependent on Him for even a few minutes of rest.  Even more dependent to get me through the grueling, two hour long bouts of pain.  Yes, I realize this is nothing compared to the person who is in constant pain because of cancer or something like that. 

What I found happening in my spirit was that God did give me the grace or mercy or strength to be sustained through the pain.   So much so that my mind began to change about this experience.   I don’t know when but at some point I began to think about the idea that the pain would eventually be gone and I started to miss it.  What kind of freak was I becoming?  I do miss it.  Not because I love pain but because I knew this 2.7mm stone that would not move was driving me closer to God than I had been in quite some time.   

What God began to show me was that I needed some level of pain in my life to keep me tapped into Him.  I’m sure you’re different but I am kind of thick.  Pain brings me to my knees quicker than blessing.  Pain drives me to seek the only comforter that doesn’t bring shame or regret.   Sometimes getting away for a weekend to focus only on my walk with Christ and my own restoration feels about like a kidney stone.  The thought of the pain that may be around the corner is not a happy thought but the depth of intimacy and comfort from a good Father is something I start missing even before it is over. 

In closing I would encourage you to think about life this way.  Embrace the pain even it is just for a few minutes.   Then let it draw you closer to the God that cares for you more than you know.  

Darrin